A regularly updated version of this post will be available here:
http://www.anarchapistemology.net/trauma
Soliciting comments with more tools and resources, and especially your own mad maps. It would be fantastic to collect several. Comment and I’ll get back to you via e-mail if you want to write your own entry.
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A Mad Map is a guide for navigating your own crazies, whatever forms they may take. Mad Maps may include a list of triggers, compiled to remind you and the friends you choose to share it with of what sort of things may set you off. It may include a list of warning signs, the actions you do and emotions you feel that indicate you may be headed for something worse, like a serious depression or dissociation.
Below, I share my de-escalators, the steps I can take to bring myself down from or out of some madness. This map is mine– yours will invariably have different ideas and actions in it, apply to a different set of crazies. But there may be some overlap, so I’ll share mine with you. Some of the issues I am dealing with include this nice long list: PTSD. Anxiety. Dissociation. Depression. Self injury. Disordered eating. Blinding anger. Motherfucking emo angst.
They fall into two brought categories: panic (including panic attacks, triggers during consensual sex, and insomnia) and depression. I’m including a list of resources (books, zines, webpages) at the end. Feel free to share your own mad maps, specific tools, and resources.
Immediate crisis & panic attacks: hyperarousal, panic
Notice and react.
NOTICE physical feelings.
STOP the trigger.
CHOOSE to continue or do something else.
ENGAGE in that activity.
RETURN to your body: still triggered? Repeat the steps.
…and when is your period due?
Things to do:
- Take herbs
- Bilateral stimulation (tapping) with a calming/grounding resource
- Txt friends: “Please send [love, hugs]” or “Remind me [simple thing I already know that the crazy is over-riding]…”
- Call friends: “I need you to talk about something light to keep me present” or “I need you to listen so I can verbalize what is going on.” Call until someone can talk. Make a list of friends to call, including a therapist if you have one. It is ok to call someone even if you will get over this.
- Physical grounding:
- Change location: walk somewhere, preferably nature. hiding is ok.
- Get warm, rest or nap
- Eat fatty, salty comfort food (avocado, chocolate, bread & nutritional yeast, ramen, chips)
Herbs to take
- Passionflower
- Rescue Remedy
- Emily’s shock mix: anemone, cayenne, lobelia, & kava
- Grounding mix: passionflower, calamus, & hops
- Whiteflower oil (aroma)
- Menstruation/PMS/hormone balancing herbs
Trauma/triggers during consensual sex
STOP.
Use whatever strength and ability to communicate you have to stop the sexual activity and end the trigger.
Say: “Stop,” “No,” “Wait,” “Hey,” whatever words you have.
If words are too hard, don’t work: Tap on the shoulder. Push away with hands or feet. Turn away. Grab their face. Use LOUD body language.
It is ok to continue sexin if that feels right, and it is ok to put clothes on and go drink tea if that’s safer. It is ok to change your mind. Check in.
Things your partner can do
- NOTICE. Pay attention to body language, especially withdrawal, disengaging, quieting and stiffening. Check in if you are unsure, check in often.
- Stop all sexual activity and give them space, stop touching them until/unless invited
- Ask yes or no questions: Are you ok? Do you want me to [hold/touch] you?
- Physical grounding: Do you feel the blanket? The cold air from the window? Do you know where you are? You are safe. You are in this house, this street, this city, state, country, turtle island, my arms.
- Change locations, get food/tea, offer herbs, put on clothes
- Be hyper aware of consent, but understand that triggers can come from consensual sex; good sex sometimes mirrors or reminds people of the physical acts of abuse but they are not the same thing at all. Take deep breaths and give support, you can weather this. Check in with & about yourself later, support is hard work.
Plan ahead
- Practice active consent
- Set up safe words & actions: Decide what means stop (“stop” is a good one). Pick something that you are able to say or do. I have trouble speaking when I am triggered, so for me, taps on the shoulder mean “stop and check in.” Other times, I’ve held jangly keys in my fist to shake or throw. At times I’ve pushed partners away hard with feet or hands. Stopping a triggering act so it doesn’t become a traumatizing act is more important than the surprise of a (safe) push.
- Get cool masturbating with partners around so your sexual needs don’t depend on each other.
Insomnia
- Take herbs: Passionflower, hops, whiteflower oil (aroma)
- Set up a routine: read easy novels, do calming yoga, eat a little snack
- Masturbate
Depression & crisis recovery: exhaustion, zombie state
Figure out your triggers, connect them to abuse.
Forgive and accept that mental illness sometimes limits what we can accomplish. Shit’s hard, be easy on yourself!
Things to do:
Healthy activities:
- Yoga, bike rides, walking in nature, adventures with friends
- Hang out with friends, be in social spaces
- Distractions/ stupid shit: lolcatz! movies! novels!
- Punk shows or other kinds of identity affrimation
- Get a massage, acupuncture, or other touch therapy
- Gentle activities: Cook. Organize things. Write. Art.
- Stay stocked with a snack stash. Plan meals and buy food ahead of time.
- Take tonic herbs: teas and tinctures for being calm and grounded
- Diet and vitamins: especially b-complex, niacin, C, omega-3s
- Exercise. Expend energy.
- Don’t overcommit. Set appropriate limits. Do the best you can. Compromise is ok (except in defense of mother earth).
- Support groups and therapy
- Aftershock: Confronting Trauma in a Violent World: A Guide for Activists and Their Allies by Pattrice Jones
- Healing Sex: A mind-body approach to healing sexual trauma aka The Survivor’s Guide to Sex by Staci Haines
- Navigating the Space Between Brilliance and Madness by the Icarus Project
- Suicide Intervention Handbook by LivingWorks
Plan ahead:
Recommended resources:
Books